5 Hot Trends I Can Guarantee for ’09

5. Awful Green Reality TV – FOX, listen up: A group of young eco-conscious, vegans living together. They compost, they use CFL bulbs, and they conserve water by never showering. Here’s the catch, one of them is a secret yuppie posing as one of Mother Nature’s children. Will the rest of the cast find out? Or will he/she convince them to start wearing leather, shampooing their hair and getting a real job? Tune in after Beverly Hills Chihuahua: The Series to find out.
4. Two-Way Audio Mobi-Blogging – Sure, it sounds crazy, but I have the feeling that by 2009 we will have the technology to audio blog one on one with another person from our mobile phones. This won’t require a computer, internet connection, or even a brain in most cases. “Boy, that Adam sure is ahead of his time.” I hear that a lot.
3. Clothes that are chosen for their function, not their fashion – Haha, just kidding! Check out what’s new at Urban Outfitters!
2. Guns – Economic trouble can only lead to one thing, people dying. There’s two sides of every death; the dead and the still alive. Trust me, if you own a gun, you’ll be sitting pretty when things get ugly.
1. Shaving Cream Earrings – I’ve been talking about this one for a while, and I think it’s time that it gets a bit more recognition. You know when you’re shaving your face, and you’ve got shaving cream everywhere, and you wash off and you think you’ve got it all, then you notice two blobs of shaving cream on your ear lobes? You wash it off, right? That is so 2008. In 2009, men will leave the shaving cream earrings on as a sign that they are recently shaven and well maintained. It will be briefly followed up with the toothpaste soul patch.