Let’s Take This Seriously Guys

America’s Funniest Videos is one of my favorite shows. Seriously, go check my Facebook profile. Not every clip is golden though, I know that. Maybe Bergeron just needs a nicely laid out list.
LESS:
• People screaming while riding roller coasters. It was never funny, it never will be.
• Mascots doing something dumb (unless it’s getting in a fight with other mascots.)
• Fake ass videos that people made just to get on AFV.
• Boats accidentally driving up onto the beach. It reminds me too much of the San Francisco scenes from The Lost World.
• People dropping guns after firing them. They’re lucky they didn’t take a bullet to the genitals.

MORE:
• Exercise balls to the face.
• Brutal falls down the stairs.
• Animals eating/licking something that they instantly regret.
• People sneaking up on other people and scaring them with loud noises. That never gets old. Bonus points if the sneaker is someone really famous that doesn’t seem like a practical joker. Edward Norton, Al Gore and Reese Witherspoon are all good places to start.
• People walking into sliding doors. So funny, every time.

There you go, run along ABC.

Proven ’09

The Proven in the Northeast film festival is coming soon! November 7th at 6pm to be exact. This year they are at Rye Airfield, one of the most ridiculous skateparks ever. I don’t have anything in the festival, nor will I be attending, but I would if I could and I thought it deserved a mention here.
There will be lots of raffles, art and ten of the best surf/skate/snow videos from the Northeast. $8 pays your entry to the films, or throw down $20 and you get the skate the after hours session. So dope.

Video Games in Real Life

Sometimes I’m playing a video game and I think to myself “Yo dude, it’d be really cool if all this stuff could happen in real life.” That “stuff” that I’m referring to is usually ridiculous skate tricks, space bending portals and jumping a dirtbike 50′ to flatground with no adverse outcomes.
One thing I don’t really need to see in real life is floating text alerting me to points of interest.

Thanks anyways Macy’s, but I can make my own hot list.

Video Game Brain

If you’ve ever lived with Ashlinn and I, you’ll know that one thing that can stop either of us in our tracks is video game brain. You’re present, but you usually interact with strange one-liners that don’t actually make sense. It’s odd, but neither of us really mind when it happens, probably because we are both very aware of it’s existence and the feelings you have when you’ve got it.
This brings me to Robbie Cooper, a photographer whose projects often involve both real and virtual subjects. His most recent project is titled Immersion and can be seen on his website, robbiecooper.org. Using methods pioneered by Errol Morris, he captures facial expressions, body language and vocal speech of subjects as they play video games. It’s simple, but hard to pull yourself away once you start watching.

Impatience

Around the middle of April, many websites started buzzing about the soon to be released Hulu iPhone app and how “badass” it was. Well folks, where the fuck is it?
Where is my Daily Show?
Where is my Heroes?
Where is my It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
Where is my self control when there are hundreds of hours of television just a few taps away?

P.S. Check back tomorrow for everybody’s favorite time of the year, Christmas List time!

Words I Like

Albatross
Burgundy
Caloric
Dolt
Err
Frumpy
Grandious
Har-har
Illegitimate
Jovial
Kingston
Loath
Mop
Nefarious
Obtuse
Purge
Questionable
Rancid
Shralp
Tinny
Ubiquitous
Verdant
Wax
X – pass, x words are stupid.
Yup
Zed

Whoever ends up in charge of writing my obituary, please make sure at least half of these words are used. Especially nefarious and shralp.