Prank I’d Love to See

adambelangerLeave a comment

So a guy walks into a fancy restaurant and says to the maître de that his girlfriend will be joining him for dinner and that he will be proposing to her. He wants the maître de to send the musicians over as he does it, to really pump up the romance. The maître de is glad to help.
The guy takes his seat and waits for his soon-to-be fiancé. She shows up and the maître de escorts her to the table. Sure enough, the guy takes a knee, gaining the attention of the whole restaurant, and pops the question. She’s shocked and overjoyed and of course says yes, envoking a riotous applause from other diners.
They happily finish their dinner and leave the restaurant.
The twist is that the girlfriend is very clearly a man wearing a dress. A man with stubble, an Adam’s apple and hands that could choke an alligator.
That’s all I want to see. Can anybody work on this for me? Thanks.

If My Dad Wrote For LOST:

adambelanger1 Comment

First order of business; build a woodshed. You’re never going to get a fire going with wet wood.
Everyone would be wearing blue Dickies, or no pants at all.
The boar that Locke caught would end up in a BLT sandwich. I have no clue where the lettuce, tomato or bread came from.
The biggest part of season 2 would have been finding a freezer in the hatch filled with Flavor-Ice pops.
Actually, by episode 2 they would have built a hovercraft and rescued themselves. Series over.

Torn

adambelangerLeave a comment

I’m f-in’ dying here guys. On one hand, old man Obama is out there telling me to spend my money. That makes sense. If everybody follows his advice, we enhance consumption of goods, and that makes retailers and manufacturers happy and we get all of our jobs back! Unemployment drops to 0%! Woohoo!
But on the other hand, my deep seeded Maine roots are continuing to scream “DON’T BUY!” crazier than Cramer. Anybody that knows me well, knows that I am the ultimate cheapskate. Oddly, I’m the exact opposite of what retailers were facing this past holiday season. People were buying just as much stuff, just as frequently, only they were buying the cheapest options available. I prefer to put off a sizable purchase for as long as it takes to save up for the higher quality option. I think most of this specifically stems from my preperation for bike trip last year.
I’ve been trying though, but maybe my efforts haven’t been very successful.
Good news: I bought new cookware!
Bad news: It’s cast iron and I’m not buying anymore within the next 50 years.
Good news: I bought a $3000 couch!
Bad news: I bought it at Goodwill for $20!
Good news: I bought a jet ski!
Bad news: Wired magazine told me I don’t need a jet ski to fix the economy. Bummer, nevermind.

FrURLSday Fails

adambelangerLeave a comment

See if you can find the pattern:
Mac Support
Mac Help Forum
Data Recovery Seattle
Newegg Laptop Hard Drives
goodfocus – This one has nothing to do with my laptop hard drive crashing, it’s just good stuff from Rockport friends.

The FrURLS Are Coming! The FrURLS Are Coming!

adambelangerLeave a comment

I kind of blew my FrURL load early with Wednesday’s LOST post. i hope these will still entertain y’all.
Britt Sondreal has a few songs recorded and posted to her Myspace. Honestly, you should probably check it out.
Birds Stealing Ice Cream – No further description necessary.
Funny Wi-Fi Names – I love them all.
Three Part Clock – Why consolidate everything onto one face, when you can spread it out over three?
When A Card Just Won’t Do – From PassiveAgressiveNotes.com, courtesy of Ashlinn.
How To Not Pull Your Jeep Out of the Mud – It’s a bit anti-climatic. It peaks a little early, but I love the writer’s Seth Rogen joke. Courtesy of Bagwell. P.S. go to Bagwell’s new site, it’s crazy!
Louis CK on Conan – “Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy” This is hilarious.