I’m f-in’ dying here guys. On one hand, old man Obama is out there telling me to spend my money. That makes sense. If everybody follows his advice, we enhance consumption of goods, and that makes retailers and manufacturers happy and we get all of our jobs back! Unemployment drops to 0%! Woohoo!
But on the other hand, my deep seeded Maine roots are continuing to scream “DON’T BUY!” crazier than Cramer. Anybody that knows me well, knows that I am the ultimate cheapskate. Oddly, I’m the exact opposite of what retailers were facing this past holiday season. People were buying just as much stuff, just as frequently, only they were buying the cheapest options available. I prefer to put off a sizable purchase for as long as it takes to save up for the higher quality option. I think most of this specifically stems from my preperation for bike trip last year.
I’ve been trying though, but maybe my efforts haven’t been very successful.
Good news: I bought new cookware!
Bad news: It’s cast iron and I’m not buying anymore within the next 50 years.
Good news: I bought a $3000 couch!
Bad news: I bought it at Goodwill for $20!
Good news: I bought a jet ski!
Bad news: Wired magazine told me I don’t need a jet ski to fix the economy. Bummer, nevermind.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Perhaps you’ve noticed that strange feeling in the air. It feels like we’re on the brink of something. Maybe it’s something good…but then again, it’s probably something awful. Proof:
Ebay customer pays $186,853.09 for an 867-5309 phone number! I’m sure this individual’s irresponsible use of money has absolutely no connection with the irresponsible use of money that has made the gun industry more profitable than the real estate industry.
(You remember the Tommy Tutone song, right? If you don’t, here’s a live performance on Youtube! Have fun getting that one out of your head!)

Amazon appears to think I’m a cat burglar of fine homes. Thanks for the recommendations guys.

The biggest sign that we’re about to be knee deep in manure from the four horsemen? Limp Bizkit has announced they are reuniting for a tour and a new album. Their reasoning you ask? They belief that the rest of music has declined below where they left off, so their bound to reach stardom again. Makes perfect sense I guess!

I know this was a bit of a downer, but you may find solace in this list of “recession babies.”

Da Economy

Interestingly though, I learned that Hummer has licensed it’s name out to a bicycle company. Guess what it is! Seriosuly, guess! You have to. IT’S A FULL SIZE BIKE BUILT FOR ROUGH TERRAIN BUT DISGUISED AS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD RIDE TO WORK ON! Stay the course boys, stay the frickin course.
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