Quick On The Humor

I’m assuming you all are well aware of the incredibly important events that happened last night between Kanye West and Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards. Some of you may even be aware of the event that occurred between Obama and Joe Wilson during a little speech about probably nothing relevant to most Americans. Were you as quick as this Youtuber? Could someone please After Effects in a little furious Serena Williams just for good measure?

The Recession

Time of death, 9:47 am June 2nd 2009.
Despite GM declairing bankruptcy, the Planet Money blog is telling me things are A-OK. Check out the sick graph there! I notice they forgot to mention that most people spent about $200 more on car companies recently than in the past. Weird.
Also they point out that people are cutting back on vacationing. Lots of people are partaking in “stay-cations,” where you find ways to relax at home, without all the travel and hotels and socially acceptable swimwear. I’m going to take this practice even further. Instead of telling the family that they’re getting a stay-cation, lie to them. Tell them you’re going to Hawaii, or France, or Amsterdam. Load them up in the car, drive around the block and pull right back into your driveway. Yell “JUST KIDDING” and give each family member a list of chores that they have to finish before the end of the day. Never bring them to Hawaii or France or Amsterdam. I call it the JK-tion.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Perhaps you’ve noticed that strange feeling in the air. It feels like we’re on the brink of something. Maybe it’s something good…but then again, it’s probably something awful. Proof:
Ebay customer pays $186,853.09 for an 867-5309 phone number! I’m sure this individual’s irresponsible use of money has absolutely no connection with the irresponsible use of money that has made the gun industry more profitable than the real estate industry.
(You remember the Tommy Tutone song, right? If you don’t, here’s a live performance on Youtube! Have fun getting that one out of your head!)

Amazon appears to think I’m a cat burglar of fine homes. Thanks for the recommendations guys.

The biggest sign that we’re about to be knee deep in manure from the four horsemen? Limp Bizkit has announced they are reuniting for a tour and a new album. Their reasoning you ask? They belief that the rest of music has declined below where they left off, so their bound to reach stardom again. Makes perfect sense I guess!

I know this was a bit of a downer, but you may find solace in this list of “recession babies.”

President Barack Hussein Oballer

I know this is an old video, but it’s still awesome.

In more recent news, Obama is encouraging the EPA to approve California’s request to set stricter standards of automobile emissions. You can read more about it here. I’m not sure if it’s a step in the right direction, but at least it’s a step in a direction. Overall, it’s obviously a move towards auto manufacturers building better cars, because I can’t imagine any state deciding to loosen their restrictions at a time like this. Senator Voinovich does have a good point though; the American car companies are already up shit road without a clutch. I don’t believe that poor companies can get away with bad practices though. That’s how America’s poorest people have also become our fattest (sorry for the generalization, I know there’s tons of fat rich Americans too.) I will agree that Obama needs to move this country slowly. It’s like you’ve got a delicate ice sculpture on a flatbed trailer and you’re driving it across the desert. Sure, you need to get it out of the sun and into a fridge, but you also can’t drive so recklessly that it breaks. Here, I’ll draw you a picture:

I hope that clears up how I feel about the issue.

P.S. Ride a bike.