Bachelor Week: Day 2

Here’s an update.
Scratched my crotch in front of a woman exiting church.
Read a Time article about Obama’s golf game.
Got into a heated discussion in Goodwill with a child about the importance of using coasters.
Almost bought a file cabinet, not for files but for my pants.
Reassured myself that pizza and soda is the best combination of any two things.
Pined over this, bought this and this instead.
Discovered 16 oz. Izze bottles!
Paid for, then lost a package of tortillas.
Now it’s time to sleep.


I’m f-in’ dying here guys. On one hand, old man Obama is out there telling me to spend my money. That makes sense. If everybody follows his advice, we enhance consumption of goods, and that makes retailers and manufacturers happy and we get all of our jobs back! Unemployment drops to 0%! Woohoo!
But on the other hand, my deep seeded Maine roots are continuing to scream “DON’T BUY!” crazier than Cramer. Anybody that knows me well, knows that I am the ultimate cheapskate. Oddly, I’m the exact opposite of what retailers were facing this past holiday season. People were buying just as much stuff, just as frequently, only they were buying the cheapest options available. I prefer to put off a sizable purchase for as long as it takes to save up for the higher quality option. I think most of this specifically stems from my preperation for bike trip last year.
I’ve been trying though, but maybe my efforts haven’t been very successful.
Good news: I bought new cookware!
Bad news: It’s cast iron and I’m not buying anymore within the next 50 years.
Good news: I bought a $3000 couch!
Bad news: I bought it at Goodwill for $20!
Good news: I bought a jet ski!
Bad news: Wired magazine told me I don’t need a jet ski to fix the economy. Bummer, nevermind.

Phuck This

OK, I’ve been biting my tongue about the whole Michael Phelps/Kellogg’s debacle, and I can do so no longer. You don’t want the image of a drug user on your cereal box?
Barack used coke, pot and alcohol during his teen years to “push questions of who I was out of my mind.” Come on Kellogg’s. The only difference between these two men’s drug use is that Barack was smart and told people about it before somebody else did. Phelps got outed and scandal ensued and he was forced into apologizing. Here’s what Phelp’s apology should have looked like:

I really hope that his apology wasn’t sincere at all, because nobody should care. If Kellogg’s hadn’t been the spotlight of the whole deal, would they have lost any business? NO! Nobody fucking cares who’s on their cereal box! (One exception.) The guy already pleaded guilty to one DUI charge (while underage.) What sets a worse example? Alcohol impaired crashes kill roughly 13,000 a year. Marijuana related deaths usually hover around…..0. Then again, Phelps may end up like this guy.