Bachelor Week: Day 2

Here’s an update.
Scratched my crotch in front of a woman exiting church.
Read a Time article about Obama’s golf game.
Got into a heated discussion in Goodwill with a child about the importance of using coasters.
Almost bought a file cabinet, not for files but for my pants.
Reassured myself that pizza and soda is the best combination of any two things.
Pined over this, bought this and this instead.
Discovered 16 oz. Izze bottles!
Paid for, then lost a package of tortillas.
Now it’s time to sleep.

Arms Debate

Alan and Mo (aka Project Tandem) wrote to me last week wondering if I were to have an arm growing out of my chest, would I want it facing palm up or palm down. I actually spent a lot of time thinking about this. Here’s my break down:
Palm Up:
+ I get to eat with 3 hands. Burger, pizza, soda…at the same time! Can you think of anything more satisfying?
+ You know those really stubborn zits where you think “If I could just stab it with one more finger…”? Solved.
+ I could toss an apple into the air, while smoking a cigarette and pointing at hot chicks. I’d be the coolest guy in town.

Palm Down:
+ Faster typing (with more typos, obviously.)
+ Increased smothering abilities.
+ I may finally be able to defeat this girl.
+ Opens up so many new high five opportunities.

So, as you can see, palm down outweighs palm up. That’s my answer. It would be awesome either way. Does anybody know a good surgeon in the Seattle area?