Burgers, Shamwow & LOST

I bought a TV last week. So far it has gone pretty untouched, but Ashlinn and I have watched it a little. The most notable things I’ve seen are the following commercials.


Not bad for a parody video, but I think their original ones might be funnier. The same ad company does the Out Today Plumbing commercials.

Jack in the Box doesn’t really exist back on the east coast. Ashlinn gave me a hard time for not knowing anything about it (or the 600 reported cases of E. coli victims in the Seattle area circa 1993.) Am I the only one that thinks mini burgers are really stupid? I don’t care how many I get, I just want one big burger!

In other TV news, LOST is airing it’s 100th episode this Wednesday. Some will celebrate with cake or costumes. Me, I’m going to eat so many fish biscuits that I puke out what looks like a Geronimo Jackson album cover.

Bonus: For a mere $0.99, you could be jamming like Jin with Dharma Lady (iTunes link.

If My Dad Wrote For LOST:

First order of business; build a woodshed. You’re never going to get a fire going with wet wood.
Everyone would be wearing blue Dickies, or no pants at all.
The boar that Locke caught would end up in a BLT sandwich. I have no clue where the lettuce, tomato or bread came from.
The biggest part of season 2 would have been finding a freezer in the hatch filled with Flavor-Ice pops.
Actually, by episode 2 they would have built a hovercraft and rescued themselves. Series over.

LOST Sadness!

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m pretty bummed about the lack of LOST this week. Here are some videos that will hopefully cheer you up.
LOST Rhapsody – Bohemian Rhapsody with a LOST twist. 1:00 is the funniest screencap from LOST ever.
LOST: The Rap – A little slow, but he does bring up some good points.
Sawyer Hates You Guys Song – Seriously.
Otters holding hands – This can’t not cheer you up!

“This Place is Death” & “316” Review

This Place is Death
The first time I watched “TPID” I was really unimpressed, mostly because of the abundance of Charlotte. Thank God she finally kicked the bucket at the end, after giving us her greatest contribution to the storyline so far; Faraday has been skateboarding around time to try to correct his greatest fuck ups. I can’t wait until they show him accidentally bringing his own mom to the Other’s Prom. The other reason this episode was the weakest of the season was the excess Sun. Yeah, she’s crazy, we get it. The last thing we need though is an episode filled with two secondary female characters trying to take the lead.
The biggest thing saving this episode is, surprisingly, Danielle Rousseau and her science crew. The producers had assured us that we would eventually see more of Danielle’s backstory and we’re finally getting it. I think Danielle was well played by the new actress (who actually has a French accent) and her baby’s daddy was one of the best characters I’ve seen on the show in a long time. Way cooler than Faraday, honestly.

316
This episode, unlike the previous, instantly struck me as the best one of the season so far. I didn’t think an off-island episode would ever be this good. First off, it was confirmed that Desmond remembered Ms. Hawking, which makes perfect sense because those memories should only be about three years old, since they didn’t actually happen until just before they got rescued. You follow me?
Another awesome thing about the episode is the invisible force that keeps Jack from drinking again. As he sat at a bar with a drink in front of him, Jack suddenly gets a call that brings him to a nursing home to visit his random grampa; Randpa. Later, when he gets home, he pours himself a drink but is distracted by a noisy Kate hiding in the bedroom. Which brings me to my favorite part of the episode! They finally did what I was hoping for. They killed off Aaron! OK, maybe they didn’t kill him, but I can only assume that Kate put him in a suitcase and kicked it off a bridge.
Oh shit! The Lap is back!
And then the closing surprise of Jin showing up in a cherry DI bus, clad in Dharma gear. I was very curious when the Ajira flight would drop the O6. Seems to be mid 70’s, Jin, and hopefully the rest of the cool survivors, have infiltrated the DI.
The only bogus part of the episode was the ridiculous second grade teacher tone that Eloise Hawking had to talk in to explain the pendulum. Come on!

Things I want explained, PRONTO:
What’s with Hurley’s guitar case? Is that a Charlie thing?
Who was the clever fellow who built the pendulum? Was it Widmore, using the Dharma Initiative to gain access to the island?
Is the frequency and placement of the time flashes significant or totally constructed just to tell awesome stories?
When Locke falls into the cave, is that a bone sticking out of his leg or is it a stick jabbed into it?
Will we ever see what’s down the smoke rabbit hole?

LOST “The Little Prince” Review & Comic 2

I’ve got to be honest with you, this episode is the weakest of the season so far. Maybe it’s just because I hate off-island Kate, but I would be much happier with an on-island/Desmond episode, until, of course Desmond is chillin’ with Kate in LA.
This episode did do a decent job of clearing up some of the questions I had about the time traveling deal. Yes, you can see what’s going on with past representations of island folk, and you may be able to interact with yourself? Perhaps? Doesn’t that go against the whole “your mind traveling through time, not your body” thing? I remember seeing the beam of light in the preview from last week and being pumped for it. John’s reaction to seeing it was awesome, and it hearkened back to the days of exciting drama that just happened to take place on a crazy island, instead of the current crazy island drama.

+ Faraday pretty much confirmed that Miles is Marvin Candle’s son. Case closed
+ Claire scenes without actually having to listen to anything new from her.
+ Young preggers Rousseau. How long have we been waiting for this?
+ On-island Kate makes an appearance…sweet.
+ Jin? Seriously?

– Jin? Seriously?
– Juliet’s facial hemorrhaging…eww
– Tony the nurse gives it up too easily. What kind of babies is Widmore hiring? Dharma henchmen will take a bullet before giving it up.
– The future inhabitants of the island apparently think it’s appropriate to wear blackface (and suck at aiming.)
– Still too much Aaron.

Bonus:
Alec in Huluwood – For those who “missed” the Superbowl, here’s the amazing Hulu commercial. I didn’t think it was possible, but this commercial actually made me love Hulu even more.

LOST “Jughead” Review

Wow, more Locke than I expected this early in the season. Here’s my 5 goods, bads and questions.

+ Ellie’s first person shooter shot
+ Widmore was an other? Woah. He’s funding all of Farraday’s experiments? 2x Woah.
+ Desmond honors a friend by naming his son Charlie Bloody Rock God Hume.
+ Locke and Richard’s entire interaction was great. “Hey, I’ll be born in a few years. Follow me around, be creepy. Oh yeah, try and stop my dad from throwing me out of a building please.”
+ Solution to nearly all problems: ” YOU BURY IT!”

– Juliet self reference as “an Other.” Don’t do that.
– Ellie’s refusal to unclench her teeth, even while speaking.
– Still too much Kate and Aaron
– This rapid series of answers is only a sign that the show will eventually end.
– Not enough alternative timelines. Let’s tear this space-time continuum apart!

1. Will back-in-the-day Widmore turn the frozen donkey wheel just like Ben?
2. Does he do it for a noble reason, totally skewing our previous perceptions of him? Is he going to be a good guy?
3. Why does Ellie look so familiar to Faraday? His mother, perhaps?
4. How old is Richard? How long do we have to wait before we see his 4-toed feet?
5. How long before Sawyer zings Richard Alpert for wearing too much makeup?

Class Action Lawsuit

If anybody else wants to partake in a class action lawsuit against ABC to refund the money I had to spend on orthodontic surgery due to how jaw-droppingly good last nights episode was, please email me.
Official review will be up soon.